Thursday, December 27, 2012

Shit I Learned This Semester: Fall 2012

Welcome to my biannual shit-show.  Unfortunately, this is probably not as good as my last one for the obvious reason that I didn't get to go around the world this time.  Nevertheless, every day is a learning experience, isn't it?

1) Don't trust me with a credit card.
2) Time is relative.
3) That big moth in your house might just be a bat.
4) You have to kiss a lot of frogs.  If not, you're just making out with a nasty ass frog, and that's weird.
5) You can never be completely satisfied. This is okay.
6) Pumpkin carving is great autumn activity.
7) Pumpkin seeds are a delicious reason to partake in the previously stated autumn activity.
8) Don't trust the vegetarian with the meats on Thanksgiving.
9) Resilience runs through a New Yorker's blood.
10) Cargo pants are a thing again.
11) Frank Ocean knows how to sing straight into your soul.
12) Time heals everything eventually.
13) When in doubt, the answer is Tupac.
14) Sometimes, you have to wear a lot of hats... literally and figuratively.
15) You never know who's watching at La Casa de Mofongo.
16) Twerking is a reasonable solution for world peace.
17) I'm ready to be a housewife.
18) Slum cred is like street cred for Indians.
19) iPhones are magnificent little devices.
20) No matter how much time has passed, you can always catch up.
21) Dostana is the best movie of all time.
22) Anything wrapped in dough and fried to perfection is the ideal snack.
23) Kids can get really feisty about Halloween candy.
24) Walmart is best for people-watching after midnight.
25) Saying you're a captain of an Indian dance team can get you some pretty awkward looks.
26) Changing a flat tire isn't very difficult.
27) Neither is running a 5K.
28) You know you're in Hickville when the apple orchard you go to is called Hick's.
27) Someday, somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye.
28) Finals can wait when there's Pokemon to play.
29) You know you're at an a cappella party when the guests start harmonizing at 4AM.
30) There are some very good people in the world.
31) You have no idea how much you can miss something your never had.
32) I should write for Thought Catalog.
33) There's always time for a booty break.
34) There's a first time for everything.
35) A group of ethnic girls can easily be confused as SWV, Destiny's Child, or TLC.
36) You can feel connected to people you'll never know.
37) Garbage Plates aren't as great as they make them out to be.
38) #YODBO
39) The most offensive term in the English language is "basic bitch."
40) It's a dog-eat-dog world at the garba.
41) Give a man some watermelon, make a friend for life.
42) Nothing like Sunday family dinners to make you feel at home.
43) There is such a thing as an underwear of the month club.
44) Bootyfrogging is an acceptable way to elicit sex.
45) Voting is a little anti-climactic.
46) "Your coming out party was your baby shower"
47) Rachet people make the world go 'round.
48) I want my life to be as close as to what's depicted in The New Normal as possible.
49) It be like that sometimes.
50)
Stop reminiscing about old memories and just make new ones already.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Custom Search