Shit I Learned This Semester: Fall 2012

Welcome to my biannual shit-show.  Unfortunately, this is probably not as good as my last one for the obvious reason that I didn't get to go around the world this time.  Nevertheless, every day is a learning experience, isn't it?

1) Don't trust me with a credit card.

2) Time is relative.

3) That big moth in your house might just be a bat.

4) You have to kiss a lot of frogs.  If not, you're just making out with a nasty ass frog, and that's weird.

5) You can never be completely satisfied. This is okay.

6) Pumpkin carving is great autumn activity.

7) Pumpkin seeds are a delicious reason to partake in the previously stated autumn activity.

8) Don't trust the vegetarian with the meats on Thanksgiving.

9) Resilience runs through a New Yorker's blood.

10) Cargo pants are a thing again.

11) Frank Ocean knows how to sing straight into your soul.

12) Time heals everything eventually.

13) When in doubt, the answer is Tupac.

14) Sometimes, you have to wear a lot of hats... literally and figuratively.

15) You never know who's watching at La Casa de Mofongo.

16) Twerking is a reasonable solution for world peace.

17) I'm ready to be a housewife.

18) Slum cred is like street cred for Indians.

19) iPhones are magnificent little devices.

20) No matter how much time has passed, you can always catch up.

21) Dostana is the best movie of all time.

22) Anything wrapped in dough and fried to perfection is the ideal snack.

23) Kids can get really feisty about Halloween candy.

24) Walmart is best for people-watching after midnight.

25) Saying you're a captain of an Indian dance team can get you some pretty awkward looks.

26) Changing a flat tire isn't very difficult.

27) Neither is running a 5K.

28) You know you're in Hickville when the apple orchard you go to is called Hick's.

27) Someday, somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye.

28) Finals can wait when there's Pokemon to play.

29) You know you're at an a cappella party when the guests start harmonizing at 4AM.

30) There are some very good people in the world.

31) You have no idea how much you can miss something your never had.

32) I should write for Thought Catalog.

33) There's always time for a booty break.

34) There's a first time for everything.

35) A group of ethnic girls can easily be confused as SWV, Destiny's Child, or TLC.

36) You can feel connected to people you'll never know.

37) Garbage Plates aren't as great as they make them out to be.

38) #YODBO

39) The most offensive term in the English language is "basic bitch."

40) It's a dog-eat-dog world at the garba.
41) Give a man some watermelon, make a friend for life.
42) Nothing like Sunday family dinners to make you feel at home.
43) There is such a thing as an underwear of the month club.
44) Bootyfrogging is an acceptable way to elicit sex.
45) Voting is a little anti-climactic.
46) "Your coming out party was your baby shower"
47) Rachet people make the world go 'round.
48) I want my life to be as close as to what's depicted in The New Normal as possible.
49) It be like that sometimes.
50) Stop reminiscing about old memories and just make new ones already.

The Ten Minutes after 3:31 AM

There’s a guy playing the banjo on the subway platform.  Quite well, honestly.  If anyone knows good folk music, it’s me.

There’s a rare breed of people who ride the subway at 3:31 AM.  For the most part, the people here are getting home from a drunken night of gallivanting around the town or are homeless and seeking refuge from the frigid cold.  Most of the people waiting for the train are some shade of brown, except for the guy playing the banjo.  I’m not quite sure if the ethnic discrepancy has anything to do with the time of night or my location in the city.

There are ten more minutes until my train arrives.  Those ten minutes are that kind of excruciating wait that you recognize is soon enough, but not as soon as you want it to be.  Like it should be faster, and you’re somehow entitled to it.  It’s the same kind of wait when you take baked goods out of the oven.  You smell the warm, sugary goodness, and you want to dig in immediately, but you figure that you should probably wait five more minutes instead of losing all sensation in your tongue due to flaming hot cookies and doing that embarrassing pant-and-fanning of your mouth that usually comes with eating hot food too prematurely.

I wonder, as this year comes to an end, whether I think that this year has been fulfilling.  I spent the first portion of it traveling the globe and living out some of my biggest dreams while learning lessons about myself and the world around me.  I spent the next portion in a new, unfamiliar city doing something just as new and unfamiliar.  I spent the last portion getting back into the groove of normalcy as a result of the previous two portions.

There’s one more month of 2012.  And maybe of the world because, y’know, the apocalypse is coming.  Either way, I’d like to think that this year was full of personal growth and surprises.  I think that I’ve had major development in the “Paul” department; I’m really coming into my own and realizing that I’m supposed to be a real adult.  It’s a little weird to have so many new responsibilities, and it scares me how much I’ve accomplished in my young life, but it also is a constant reminder of the new challenges to come and the innumerable things I have yet to do.

Not too long ago, I was sitting on the Singapore or Shanghai subways.  And the Chicago subway.  And now, I’m back waiting on a New York City subway platform.  It’s crazy how time flies.  It’s interesting that the past ten minutes have felt like an eternity, yet the past year seemed to fly by.  I’ve relived an entire year in ten minutes.  And just like that, the 1 train is approaching the station, ready to take me to my next destination.